Gain Weight

Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably At Losing Weight
Copyright © 2006-2008 Dan Nessel


Americans are getting fatter.  I hate to be the one to put it so
bluntly, but the scales don't lie.  65% of adult Americans are
either overweight or obese.  25% of Americans are obese.

Now for the bad news – things are only getting worse.  In 1991,
only four states had obesity rates of 15 to 19 percent and none
had obesity rates greater than 20 percent. By the year 2000, all
of the 50 states had obesity rates of 15 percent or greater, with
35 of the 50 states having obesity rates as high as 20 percent or
greater.

In 2005, obesity rates increased in 49 out of 50 States
(congratulations to Oregon for bucking the trend).  The Trust for
America's Health is projecting that by 2008 a staggering 73% of
US adults could be overweight or obese. The trend is clear – we
are all getting fatter by the day.

With the rise of the Internet and our new information on demand
society you can hardly sneeze without hitting a "how to lose
weight article."  Books, articles, videos, TV specials, magazine,
blogs, web sites – they are filled with tips and tricks on how to
lose weight.  Is there any celebrity left who has not published a
diet book?

So, two trends seem undeniable – we are getting fatter and we are
getting bombarded with articles on how not to get fatter.   In
fact, I would argue there is a direct correlation – the more
articles written on losing weight, the more weight we gain.
While it was a reasonable assumption to think that writing
articles on how to lose weight would help people lose weight –
the numbers reveal that is not true.

Not one to ignore statistics – I now see as a health author I am
part of the obesity problem.  Today I will correct that mistake.
If writing articles on how to lose weight has led to record
levels of obesity, then writing an article on how to gain weight
should lead to record levels of weight loss.

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In my quest to help reverse the growing obesity rate, here are my
Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably at Losing Weight...

1. Natural = Bad.  Fully processed = good

Fruits, vegetables, whole grains – these just don't spike the
blood sugar levels.  Fully processed, close to impossible to
digest foods – this is where you get to ride the insulin roller
coaster to certain weight gain.

2. If you can pronounce the ingredients in your food, you are
eating the wrong food.

Grab a snack, flip it over and read the ingredients.  If you can
actually pronounce all the ingredients – put it down.  You need
to concentrate on snacks that have a list of ingredients that
require a PhD in chemical engineering to decipher.

3. Drink more Eggnog

At 430 calories and 20 grams of fat per cup – Eggnog is a
guaranteed way to put on those extra pounds.  Stock up around the
holidays, you want to make sure you still have eggnog left when
you are trying to put on that extra 10 pounds so your bikini
doesn't fall off you come summer time.

4. It is hard to eat while exercising – so don't exercise.

Exercise simply cuts into the few waking hours you have to eat
food – so don't do it!

5. Eat Late

Numerous studies have shown that our body has a tough time
burning the calories we eat late at night.  Try to have your
largest, sugar laden meals just seconds before you doze off.

6. Super size your Super Size

Super Size meals, Double Big Gulps – all moves in the right
direction, but just not enough.  A good rule of thumb – if you
don't need a dolly to carry your meal from a fast food
restaurant – you haven't super sized enough.

7. Remove all mirrors from your home

Mirrors just reflect reality – who wants this.  You need to make
sure the media decides exactly how you perceive yourself.

8. Eat Out and Eat Often

Having all your meals away from home is a great way to pack on
the extra pounds.    Of course, "all you can eat buffets" are the
Holy Grail of gaining weight.

9. Have all home faucets rewired to a soda keg

Drinking plenty of water can wreck havoc on your goal of NOT
losing weight.  To avoid any temptation to drink water, have a
plumber hook your faucets up to a soda keg.   Simply replacing 60
ounces of water with the same amount of Coke will add a nifty 700
calories to your diet.

10. Remove all positive people from your life

You are going to need to be down, depressed and negative to
succeed in failing your diet.  Remember - food is your comfort,
not friends or family.  Stock the cupboards with comfort food and
disconnect the phone. While other writers continue to act
irresponsibly – contributing to the obesity rate by writing
articles on how to lose weight – I want to be able to sleep at
night.    If I could just get Oprah and Dr. Phil to join me in
writing articles on how not to lose weight, I am sure we could
put an end to obesity.

============================================================
Dan Nessel is a health and diet writer just trying to help
Americans lose weight. When Mr. Nessel is not writing whimsical
articles about a serious matter such as Obesity, he works as a
researcher for Hoodia-Advice.Org. Hoodia-Advice.Org specializes
in presenting unbiased research and information on Hoodia
Gordonii.

Read more articles at - http://www.hoodia-advice.org ============================================================


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